Being stoned and lonely is better than being just lonely, study says

You have no friends. The phone doesn’t ring. Your Facebook and Twitter are followed only by crickets. The loneliness is starting to get to you. Don’t worry, a few healthy bong hits can cure that, according to a new study that says marijuana "dampens the negative emotional consequences of social exclusion on negative emotional outcomes." Meaning, when you’re stoned, you don’t need friends. Doritos and porn maybe, but not people. The study, from website Social Psychological and Personality Science, claims that lonely dope enthusiasts had higher levels of mental health and self-worth than lonely squares who shun the chronic. So stop talking to your cat and get on a plane to Washington.