'Teen Mom' alum Farrah Abraham sells classily titled sex tape for big bucks

When sexy turns sad, desperate and pathetic ...

Looks like bringing her dad and her 3-year-old daughter to her sex tape negotiations paid off for Farrah Abraham. TMZ says the onetime "Teen Mom" star, 21, has inked a deal with Vivid Entertainment for close to a million bucks for the porno she filmed with professional boinker James Deen.

Not surprisingly, the flick's title reflects all the class and subtlety we expect from the 70-minute nookie-fest that she initially tried to pretend didn't exist/was leaked: "Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom."

She also accused Deen of having a small, ahem, appendage when he talked openly about the planned-out shoot.

"If you're going to make a celebrity sex tape and try to pass it off as an amateur home video, you don't hire a well-known porn star!" shrugged Deen, who we're starting to like more and more, despite his participation in this mess. "You hire, like, some random dude."

Alas, the payday isn't quite what Farrah was hoping for.

"I will not be settling for anything less then a couple million," she declared to Us Weekly earlier this month. As for why she filmed it, "I'm a great woman, mother and entrepreneur. ... I wanted my own personal video made and photos taken for myself; when I am older I will have my best year to look back on."

Let's hope that's not true, but if it is, she has our deepest sympathies.